I've finally discovered that couples with horses,
Often find their dear equine the cause of divorces.
If one spouse prefers to spend time in the stable,
The other must learn that they'll never be able...

To coax them away from their hunting or riding,
By pleading or yelling, rebuking or chiding.
They can't even hope if it's raining or snowing,
That the weather or footing will keep them from going...

To hunt meets or races, to polo or shows,
And this is the chief cause of marital woes.
For they'll spend every minute fussing and caring,
For a horse that they have no intention of sharing.

They'll spend hours astride and when they get back,
The rest of their free time they'll spend cleaning tack.
They'll invite their friends over and natter all night,
Taking horses ad nauseam till the dawn's early light.

You can hope that they'll tire one day of the grind,
Of the mucking and schooling... but no, they don't mind.
Or you can give up and join them if you think you're the sort,
Who can spend all your spare time pursuing the sport.

You can cross all your fingers and hope that they'll choose,
To stop hunting in winter and go off on a cruise.
You can hope the van's engine will suddenly quit,
Or a blister will pop up about where they sit.

But if you want to stay married please have no intention,
Of saying the one thing you must never mention.
It's a question, once posed, and it's been asked quite a lot,
That's unraveled the tightest-tied marital knot.

If you want to stay coupled, please take my advice,
You'd better think hard and you'd better think twice.
Before offering the choice and by saying with force,
"Now make up your mind ... who stays ... me or the horse?"

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