A Guide to Schmoozing / Create Your Own Luck by "Expanding Your Circle" / The Work World is a Harsh Place-Deal with It.
If you've been following our Go Getter Girl's Guide series, you read last week's post about creating your own luck. How can you create your own luck if you aren't meeting new people, planting seeds, making connections, demonstrating your talents, and asking others for advice? You can't. Chapter 4 of The Go-Getter Girl's Guide is called "How to Schmooze." I happen to love schmoozing. To me, schmoozing is about talking to others, seeing what makes the other person tick, asking questions, seeing that person light up about their passions, and connecting them with others who can be helpful. Since I'm passionate about schmoozing, I'm going to give my own interpretation about this VERY important topic. Let's clear up a common misconception first: Schmoozing does not equal an obnoxious, self-absorbed and self-centered sales pitch. You are not giving a hard sell of yourself. In fact, great "schmoozer's" don't really talk about themselves at all. Schmoozing does not mean that every conversation is to sell your product or service or to land a new job. Sometimes, it's just a nice little conversation that is not intended to be anything more. Here's an example: Nicole spots adorable woman in cute suit, killer shoes, and a confident stride. Nicole: I absolutely love your suit and I had to tell you! I've been looking for a cute skirt suit like that! Woman: Oh thanks! I wasn't sure if it was too fun for this event, so I'm glad you like it. Nicole: Oh absolutely. Show your personality off! It's our biggest asset, right?! By the way, I'm Nicole. (extends hand for a shake) Woman: Hi, I'm Ellie. Nicole: What do you do Ellie? Woman: Responds. From here
Schmoozing is not meant to be a source of anxiety. In fact, if you start with a genuine compliment, it's a pretty natural conversation from there. Other schmoozing notes: If the idea of schmoozing makes you want to hide under a rock, The Go-Getter Girl's Guide recommends creating a simple action plan. Here are a few things that can be premeditated: So there you have it, Nicole's guide to schmoozing. -----------
I'd ask several questions about her profession including how she got into her field, what types of projects she's working on now, and maybe even where she's from. My goal is to learn about her, get her excited and find out things we have in common.
I'd also pay compliments (only genuine ones) if they were appropriate, and exchange business cards if the situation was relevant.
I'd try to keep the conversation about Ellie as much as possible and learn about her.
If someone else joins the conversation, be sure to do the "sorority recruitment transition." Remember that one sorority girls? Example: your acquaintence Susan walks up to your conversation with Ellie. "Hey Susan! This is Ellie. Ellie is the advertising director at ABC Magazine and actually graduated from Wisconsin, just like you! Susan is the social media manager at XYZ Consumer Goods. We were just talking about how much we love living in Chicago." From here, it becomes easy to pull Susan into the conversation without missing a beat.
Great topics for conversation: current events, movies, fashion, books, TV shows, new restaurants, recent/upcoming vacations, sports, weather.
Bad topics: anything too personal and anything negative! Avoid this!!!!
It's ok to leave the conversation before it dies. You can say something like, "Ellie, it was great meeting you! I am going to go grab a drink. Good luck with your upcoming move!"
Define three specific people or types of people you want to speak to.
What three questions would you like to ask each type of person?
What three current "nuggets" would you like to discuss?
Create Your Own Luck by "Expanding Your Circle"
Dec - 15 | By: Nicole Crimaldi
http://www.mscareergirl.com/2009/12/15/create-your-own-luck-by-expanding-your-circle/First, let's start by reviewing a few career myths (which you need to start accepting as myths!):Successful people just got lucky.
Successful people always know exactly what they are doing.
Successful people are so talented in their field that they never needed others to help them get to the top.
Loose acquaintances are not helpful in achieving professional success.
WRONG!
Now let's correct these myths:
1. Go-Getter Girl's all have one thing in common: they are constantly expanding their circle. Why should you do this? Because expanding your circle means you can create your own luck. Chapter 3 of the book gives several great examples of how expanding your circle will lead you to "luck" and career success. I have several examples of how it has helped me in my life (including getting my current job). How has expanding your circle helped you create your own luck? Do you believe that successful people just got lucky? Do tell.
2. Successful people are actually the ones who have become comfortable being uncomfortable. Recent grads listen up: yes you have a solid four year degree you worked your ass off for. That doesn't mean you're going to know everything (or anything) once you get into your first few jobs. The career newbie who learns how to sit down and figure it out without asking is the one who will rise to the top.
Also, get comfortable with uncomfortable conversations with colleagues, clients, superiors, and those you meet in your community- those conversations will undoubtedly lead you to good things. What uncomfortable situations have you been in at work? How did it help your confidence and progress?
3. Direct quote from Chapter 3: "EVERYONE needs to seek out resources and support to get to the next level." Yes, I said everyone. This is why you need mentors- diverse mentors even who will guide you. How many mentors do you have? How did you meet them?
4. According to Chapter 3, "loose acquaintances" are the most helpful in your quest for professional or financial success. Family and friends are fabulous but at some point they are limited in what they can help you with. With each new person you meet, you are being exposed to a whole new network and a new set of experiences. Simply asking an acquaintance for an introduction or recommendation goes a very long way. Several examples of this are given in the book. When is the last time you emailed an acquaintance just to say hello and touch base? When is the last time you asked for something from them?
In conclusion, successful Go-Getter Girls are curious creatures. They act on their curiosity in order to learn new things and meet new people. They know that they need others to help them get to success. Therefore, they are constantly expanding their circle- whether it be at the nail salon, walking into a manager's office to introduce themselves or at the dog park. They continually scout out new info with a professional purpose. How have you created your own luck by expanding your circle? What do you feel is more of a factor in career success: raw talent or expanding your circle? ----------- http://www.mscareergirl.com/2009/12/08/the-work-world-is-a-harsh-place-deal-with-it/ Dec - 08 | By: Ms. Career Girl I received a package from the fabulous GL Hoffman on Saturday with two books and a very nice hand written note. GL is the founder of the revolutionary job site Linkup.com and of the blog, What Would Dad Say. He thought I'd really enjoy reading Debra Shigley's "The Go-Getter Girl's Guide," and he was so right! I haven't been able to put this book down and therefore I will be doing a series of weekly blog posts on exceptionally useful chapters for you "Go-Getter Girls." I'm going to start by reviewing Chapter 2 which is titled "The Work World Can Be a Cold, Hard Place- You Must Learn to Deal with It." This title alone made me so happy. For once no one is sugar coating the truth, telling you to go to HR, or saying that they are wrong and you are right. Sure, your co-workers might be jealous, catty and ridiculous but why should you care? Here are the major takeaways from Chapter 2: There are a hundred reasons why your co-workers may not like you. Stop focusing on WHY and instead make it your motivator to keep moving your career forward. Do all of your co-workers like YOU? Do you feel tension at the office? How will this new way of thinking help you? There might be some truth in your colleagues critiques. You are NOT at the top, so there is probably some truth in what they are saying. LISTEN. Fake it 'till you make it, sister! Walk in the office each day like you "won the lottery." That feeling will get you through the tough days. Again, not every person at work is going to like you. Be prepared when going into a meeting that may result in mean spirited attacks disguised as feedback. Keep the meeting on track and if things get off course, offer to schedule a different time to discuss those issues. Your "friends" at work aren't necesarily your friends. In some industries, they may be your competition. Keep that in mind so you aren't surprised if they undermine you or disappoint you. Have you ever been "double crossed" by a co-worker that you thought was your friend? DO NOT GOSSIP EVER- NO EXCUSES! Politely deflect and after a few times people will stop bitching to you. This is a tough one. What tips would you have for other girls on how to handle and avoid gossip? In the same respect, stop bitching to your cubicle mate- save that for your friends and family after work hours. Try your hardest not to ever cry at work. If it does happen, don't obsess over it. Pretend it didn't happen and move on. Have you lost it at work? How did you deal? Ladies, I'd love to hear about situations like this that have happened to you. Do you think Debra's advice is too harsh? -----The Work World is a Harsh Place-Deal with It.
